Life is short. I believe it matters greatly to feel the raw pain of it. I’ve lived 46 years on this planet and what I’ve learned is that without the steps that I took to the experiences I’ve had I wouldn’t be where I am inwardly. I reflect a lot. Most definitely daily, every morning, and today, again, as every once in awhile as I do. I had this deep thought of “if I could do it all over again” I’d do this and that differently, then I thought, but wait, if I hadn’t made this or that mistake I would not be as wise as I am now. Smarter. Then what? I can now make better decisions because of my past. Not that I’ve never thought of this before, sometimes things come to you again, with just a little twist in reflection, and or the revelation goes in a little deeper, as if maturity or rougher experiences open you up more and that same revelation hits you differently than it did before. As we grow.
As I write I think that I could save all of this and put it in a book, but, I’ve been writing books for a very long time. They are all half finished. And if I wait to write the book, then you’ll never know and if you don’t know, you’ll never share in my experience that can help build you up now. I have so much to say and I’ve kept to myself for so long, but then, I believe it is for such a time as this. It’s time to open up. Like those movies you see where the protagonist goes to her daily blog and reads up on the bloggers new post and her scope on life. Or where the blogger is the protagonist writing the blog posts. Well, hello, here I am. I’ve been meaning to start my blog since 2009. There was a reason why I never did. I hesitated and made excuses, but then again, I wouldn’t have been so much wiser as I am today. Or not as ignorant of the reality of life as I see it today, so vastly different as I did a decade ago. Now, I can say with confidence anything I need to say. Only because I finally chose to. Done for today.
